A Family Broken
by LyricsArePoetry
Summary: Lynette's thoughts about her family just before she dies


A Family Broken:

When I look at my baby brother I know he's so grown up for his age. He's only 15 but he knows exactly what the world is like. He know he's on the outside like the rest of the family. Except me, of course, with my beautiful dark skin, I'm on the inside but my family say I'm a nought like them. Still this isn't about my skin colour. Well, it is, but not completely and not yet. Right now, it's about Callum. He knows the major divides between noughts and Crosses, yet he still spends so much time with that girl, Persephone Hardly. Mum, Dad, Sephy's family, they attempts to stop them seeing each other are all pointless, and it's hardly surprising. Sephy and Callum grew up together, they always were best friends. Sephy's a great girl, in some ways she reminds me of Jed, but I can't be sure if that is a good or a bad thing. And the problem is they seem to think that nothing will be able to pull them apart. I hope to god they are right, but the voice of experience from inside me tells me they're wrong. The difference in their skin colour will come between then before long. They world will make sure of that. The same way it made sure me and Jed got separated. I just pray Callum doesn't end up the same way Jed did, though. It's likely though. I hated to think it, but I couldn't help it, in the end that friendship - relationship, the chances were Sephy and Callum were hoping to become more than just friends - was more than likely going t be the death of Callum. He's strong, though, my baby brother, stronger than he realises, so maybe there's a chance him and Sephy will be the exception to the rule. Maybe. Hopefully. I only know I won't be here to find out.

Jude, my other brother, he's so full of hate and anger. He's the complete opposite of Callum, but at the same time he's a lot like Callum. Jude has that capacity to love with all his heart, but if I know him as well as I'm sure I do, he'll never let himself. This world has filled him with that anger and hate, and now everything he does is through that anger. Part of me blamed Dad for this. I knew it wasn't really his fault, but he was the one who got Jude involved in the Liberation Militia in the first place, and now he's involved in that terrorist group there is no chance Jude will ever let go of his anger. He'll never have the chance to. I don't even know if he'd _want _to. Being involved in the L.M. gives Jude a purpose in life, a target and something to work towards. If only someone could make him realise that terrorism wasn't the way. I couldn't think how else it could be done, but terrorism would never get noughts equal rights. I often wonder what would've happened if Jude had been able to stay on at school. He loved getting an education and hated it when he was forced to stop. That would've fuelled is anger. If only he could calm down and let himself learn to love.

Dad. Sometimes I think Dad cares more about what he believe in than this family, but at the same time I know that isn't true. I know Dad cares about the family more than anything, but sometimes things with the L.M. get in the way. Dad believes that Crosses are nothing but scum, so killing them is all right, and through this Jude believe the same. Don't get me wrong, I believe noughts should be treated the same as Crosses, but I don't believe that killing is the way to get there. Killing Crosses is just going to make bastard politicians like Kamal Hadley more determined to get noughts miles below Crosses. Dad, Jude and the rest of the L.M. need to realise that and find a more peaceful way to 'freedom fight'.

Mum. Oh poor Mum. Callum told me the other day that I sounded just like Mum, and he was probably right. I hadn't meant to, but I am the only other female in the family so I am going to be somewhat right Mum. It's only natural. There is a huge difference between me and Mum though. Mum is there for all of us, Dad, Callum, Jude and me, through thick and thin, and she'll never give up on any of us no matter what we do. I don't think any of them realise how lucky we are to have a Mum that loyal. Mum doesn't help this by not always appearing to be completely loyal but she is. Everything she does, she does for us. Always. The one difference between me and Mum is that she'll live on and end up alone and I'll be dead while the family is broken, but still together.

I know a lot of people think suicide is the cowards way out. Maybe they're right, maybe I am a coward, I don't know. All I know is that I can't cope anymore. It feels like I'm living in a war. A war between noughts and Crosses. A war between our family and the Hadley family. A war between this family. Everywhere there's fighting. It never stops. No one ever just accepts. No one accepted me and Jed and they killed him because of it. So now I'm going to join him in heaven. Though I'm not sure if I believe in heaven, or the god I was talking about before. Because would a god really let his world stay like this? Maybe there is a god, maybe there isn't. Either way it doesn't matter. I hate this world, and I hate life. I need out.

I stare at the headlights of the oncoming bus. I am stood straight in front of it. I hear the brakes screech…

'I'm sorry, Callum'

…and it hits me.


End file.
